A somber Scott Morrison headed to The Shire to clear out his office this morning, reviewing some of his favorite costumes from the last three years in office.
Creating piles of “keep,” “throw away,” and “maybe,” Morrison often paused to stare into the distance as the memories rained down again.
“Ah… the welder’s suit where I put the helmet on my head and nearly burned my retinas,” he said, placing it lovingly in the ‘save’ pile.
“And here is the pilot costume I wore when the country was in lockdown and some people couldn’t travel more than 5km from their homes. What fun!
“Oh, and look…here’s the costume I wore when I dressed up as a hairdresser and patted a stranger’s head. God, I’m going to miss this job.”
Since homework stretched into the third hour, Morrison decided to create a separate pile just for sports costumes. “The rugby league costume, the rugby union costume, the cricket costume, the tennis costume, the basketball costume… oh, and here’s the costume I wore when I flattened a seven-year-old. years. Of course he was offside, so he deserved it.
“Oh Jenny, come and look at this one. This is the costume I wore when I pretended to help out in Lismore by sweeping a basketball court for four minutes a fortnight after the floods. Do you think that should go in the ‘sports’ pile or the ‘pretend to work on a national crisis pile’?
Despite hours of searching, Morrison could not find his Prime Minister costume anywhere.
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