Unhappy in love? Attracting the wrong people? 5 dating mistakes you might be making, according to Charlene Douglas, sex and dating therapist at Fitafy
Dating can be stressful at times, so my main advice would be to have fun!
As winter approaches and the year draws to a close, many of us yearn to find that special someone we can snuggle up with to keep us warm through the winter and beyond.
the dos and don’ts of modern dating
However, many singles often find themselves in sticky situations, leaving themselves questioning their tact and techniques.
We caught up with Fitafy’s acclaimed sex and dating therapist, Charlene Douglas, to find out the dos and don’ts of modern dating.
Connection error no. 1 Putting all your eggs in one basket
A common mistake people make when approaching dating is assuming that the first person they meet will be their ‘person’.
They meet one person and hope that person will satisfy all their emotional needs.
Instead of putting all your energy into the first person you date, I’d recommend dating a few people until you’re sure you’ve met someone you want to make progress with.
Dating Mistake #2 Creating a dating profile that doesn’t show who you are really are
Another big mistake people make when dating is creating a dating profile that doesn’t accurately reflect who they are.
Your dating profile is a great way to showcase your interests, personality and looks – so make sure your profile reflects who you are as a person.
For example, if you are a fan of fitness and have a hard time meeting people who share your interests, make that clear on your profile.
make sure your profile reflects who you are
Ps: if you are someone looking for a like-minded fitness fanatic, I recommend using Fitafy, designed for people who are passionate about sports and fitness, so be sure to show your sporty side on your profile.
Relationship Mistake #3 Being Too Closed
Some people have less luck with dating because they get stuck on the list of must-haves. Don’t narrow your search for a partner by rejecting potential partners who could show you a whole new world of love.
Sometimes it can prove self-sabotaging if you decide not to date someone before you meet them – just because on paper they don’t fit your pre-existing criteria.
Be open and meet different people… you might surprise yourself. Often people end up with a partner who is completely different from the person they thought they would end up with.
Dating Mistake #4 Comparing everything to your ex
It’s often quite common for people to consciously (or subconsciously) compare new love relationships to their previous ones, especially if you still have some sort of emotional connection to them.
I would highly recommend focusing on each new person you meet as a fresh and unique person. Try to learn their actions and appreciate them for their qualities and try not to compare them with someone else.
Don’t assume that everyone is out to get you and trust the process
This will allow you to step into a new chapter with a fresh pair of eyes and look to the future, leaving the past in the past.
Relationship Mistake #5 Overthinking
Being able to socialize can sometimes be filled with anxiety and worry. One of the main ways to avoid these feelings is to stop overthinking certain situations.
Don’t assume that everyone is out to get you and trust the process. If a co-worker texts you, don’t wait five hours to respond, it could get in the way of work and disrupt the flow of your conversation.
Be open and honest with your feelings, even if it’s a little scary, because I can assure you that the person opposite you is not a mind reader.
Whether it’s out of embarrassment, pride, or shame, not being open about your feelings is a very common dating mistake.
If you want to be successful in your love life, you have to let people in and just go with the flow.